I thought I would avoid the ever so emotional trauma associated with 'letting go.' Alas, no! I was filled with complete motherhood anxiety yesterday. That anxiety that involves the unknown-out-of-your-protection kind of stress that fills the hearts of all Mom's dealing with sending their child off on their own. Off to their own dreams, experiences and joys. Off to trial and triumph. I've been half filled with joy and pride and the other half with anxious emotion. Emotion to say the least is an understatement. Two days ago I was fine. A few motherly tears and I was good. And yesterday with the knowledge he's flying across the country into uncharted territory for his own destiny, kind of filled me with tears.
Tears shed for many reasons. I will not say regret, as I've learned from this boy, not to have any and to live life to its fullest. But tears that he's grown up and I ask myself where the time went. Where is my little boy that used to run at me full blast just to give me a kiss and instead would body slam his head into mine. My little boy who I would fret over and pray over because of the worries a mother has for her son. My boy who learned on his own that girls are mostly a distraction to what is best (especially in their youth). My boy who was more independent than I wanted him to be way too early in life. The young man who tried his Mother's patience and perseverance daily. The young man that was told by his Mother to live his dreams while he's young and unattached. To go for it! And he did!
Now my boy has turned into a man. He is his own person, and will chart his own destiny. There were days I didn't think I'd get through when he was a teen, now I don't know how I'll do while he's away in the Army. But they don't call us Army Proud for nothing, we are and I will continue to be. I will say that the kids that are the most difficult to raise are the ones that teach us the most about parenting and unconditional love. I thank my God for such a gift as my own children.
The Army Mom...Army Strong! Hooah!
